


Till the words run dry

by Anactualdragonipromise



Series: Magnus Bane and the troubles of time [2]
Category: Shadowhunters
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Some angst, it got away from me, the immortality thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 19:21:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12777756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anactualdragonipromise/pseuds/Anactualdragonipromise
Summary: Wherein Magnus and Alec finally have the immortality talk.





	Till the words run dry

**Author's Note:**

> Not that proud of this one.

It was on a Tuesday when it finally happens. The inevitable tends to have that peculiar way with time, where it can be delayed and pushed but never completely twisted out of the grasps.

Magnus wasn’t having a good day to begin with. From the minute he woke up to a seemingly-hurried scribbled note explaining the all too empty spot in his bed, (A brief but elaborate ‘Institute Call’ written on what was probably the nearest thing available at that moment: a Chinese take out menu) to a rather awful meeting with a snotty client. He hadn’t been able to catch a break all day.

It certainly didn’t help matters knowing that Alexander had probably left sometime in the late, or early if that’s how one wanted to look at it, A.Ms. Nor did the fact that Raphael wasn’t answering his texts after Magnus gave him the heads-up about a newly turned child of the night, who one of Magnus’ contacts claimed to be an actual child, looking no older than ten.

And really, it would be all fine and well if Magnus’ new-old-whatever self-acclaimed enemy would just come out of the shadows instead of making his neighborhood a demon hot spot. Not that Magnus couldn’t handle it, please, but the whole act was getting boring. Alexander, concerned as ever, had suggested looking further into this, maybe it was time Magnus took him up on that offer. He could rival the waiting game the mystery person was intent on, with great ease and a polished flourish too, but he had other things to worry about. More important things. And he had people he cared too much about to put at risk like that.

Valentine may be gone but the Downworlders are nowhere near united, not with the nephilim and not even with other downwolders. Plus, Magnus had enough on his plate after hearing about the incident at a quaint antique store on 9th Avenue with those rogue warlocks. And, how could he forget? Alexander.

  
Magnus sighs, pouring himself a drink as he spares a glance to his phone. Still radio silence. If only Raphael would just respond already. The chances of him having a run in with a nest were too high for Magnus’ liking, maybe he’d go help out.

Magnus knows the vampire can handle himself, and well, but that doesn’t stop him from worrying and really, he needs the distraction. If not distracted, Magnus’ thoughts would circle back to Alec and how apart from the note, there’d been no word from him either.

And it’s unlikely that Alec would be out on a mission. He was probably off taking care of Head of Institute things. Yet, still.

The near-loss of Alexander, the way he’d been so very still that night for a moment, lingered painfully in Magnus’ mind. It kept him up at nights where Alec was working late and he himself didn’t have something or another to tend to, a rare occurrence as of late but one that happened nonetheless.

It didn’t help that Alec would sometimes come home limping and trying to hide it, or bearing wounds that took time to heal over even with an iratze. It didn’t help that Magnus didn’t talk about it. That he couldn’t picturing himself doing so. If anyone would, he’d always thought it’d be Alexander.

It’s not that they ignored the subject, it simply didn’t really come up. Or perhaps they skirt around it? Was he simply unaware the entire time?

Magnus puts down his drink and walks over to where he had his mini magical apothecary set up to check on the potion he’d been working on. For night terrors, something to help Madzie adjust better. Catarina was perfectly capable of brewing one up herself but Magnus’ magic would give it an extra kick.

“You know I’ve been standing here for the past five minutes, right?”

Magnus starts, almost dropping the flask of potion in hand.

“Alexander.” An unexpected, expected sense of relief washes over Magnus at the site of his boyfriend’s fall frame leaning against the wall.

Safe, seemingly unharmed, Alec walks over to him, a slight frown on his face.

“Is something wrong?”

Magnus smiles, shaking his head. As soon as Alec’s within reach, he presses a soft kiss to his lips. “Not a thing.”

Alec rolls his eyes but does nothing to hide the look of absolute adoration in them. Magnus’ heart can’t help but glow at that.

“Come on, I know you.” Alec runs his hand along Magnus’ arm. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” he brushes off, pulling away to focus his attentions on the now steaming flask of amber liquid. Magnus opens up a container of a sparkling dust-like substance, making adjustments with a practiced hand. “I’m waiting on a reply from Raphael. One of my contacts informed me about a newly turned vampire child in a rather dodgy area.” A drop of something gooey and blue makes the tonic cool down immediately. “Naturally, I’m a bit concerned. Want a taste?”

Alec makes a face at the now sparkling silvery liquid. “No thanks, looks can be deceiving and I saw what you put in there just now.”

“A little powdered eye of newt never hurt anybody, and leaves you with a lovely glow.”

“I’m good,” Alec says, ignoring the look Magnus gives him, the one reads: ‘Yeah, you are.’ with all kinds of implications, before adding seriously, “I’m sure Raphael has it handled but I could always—“

He doesn’t let him finish. “No, you’re right. There’s no need to have you do anything, he has his—“ _buzz_.

Magnus quickly checks his phone.

 _Thanks again for the tip, got it handled,_ it reads. From Raph.

At Alec’s questioning look, he says easily, “All good. Well, aren’t you a good luck charm?”

But Alec doesn’t relent. “There’s something else bothering you.”

“Is there?” Magnus counters, walking away from the set up table and settling in on the couch.

Alec follows in suit. “Magnus,” he says in that voice.

“Alexander,” he mimics.

“Don’t think that I haven’t noticed that you‘ve been a little off since that night, the—The incident. You know you don’t have to hide it, right? Not with me.”

“I know.”

“Is this about the threat? Because I told you we—“

“It’s not that,” Magnus cuts through.

“But there _is_ something.”

Magnus reels in a deep breath. It’s not that he doesn’t want to have this conversation, it’s something they need to talk about. Inevitable. And talking, communication, having discussions, all of those are things that they’ve been working towards bettering ever since what happened with the soul sword. For the most part, they’d done just that. And more.

But now, now he’s at a loss. For as many lovers Magnus’ had throughout the ages, he’s never felt anything this strong, this terrifying. Definitely not towards a mortal. He’s never had a need to talk about the mortality-immortality subject matter but recently, it’s almost as if the universe was mocking him relentlessly with it. He doesn’t even know how to start, _where_ to start.

And Alexander’s looking at him so encouragingly, telling him to take as much time as he needs without uttering a word out loud. What is he to do with that?

“I—“ Magnus tries to begin.

“What the hell?”

Well, that’s a vote of confidence.

Magnus is instantly met with a pair of apologetic eyes. He notices the lit up screen display of the phone Alec has firmly clutched in his hands.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus, I have to go. Apparently, something’s going wrong with the new younger batch of shadowhunters that were sent off on a—“

Alec’s features only become more disgruntled as he reads over the messages once more. “No one needs to use these many abbreviations.”

“Jace?” he guesses.

Alec nods absentmindedly, pocketing his phone as he stands. He quickly takes hold of Magnus’ hands, a comforting squeeze. “We’re talking about this later, I promise.”

“Alright.”

Alec kisses him hastily, somehow still managing to send a rush of endorphins whirling inside of Magnus, before leaving.

Magnus sighs, glancing over to the potion on the makeshift apothecary. It _would_ be nice to see Madzie again.

  
—

When Magnus gets back from a rather lovely stay at the healer’s place, it’s only to open his door to the site of Alec stumbling around the loft, barely holding himself upright as his _parabatai_ guides him to the couch, and instantly wish he’d taken up Cat’s offer of a nightcap.

“You have thirty seconds to explain this,” he says.

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” reassures Jace, steadying the shadowhunter as his head rolls back on the couch, groaning.

“He doesn’t _look_ fine.” Magnus rushes over immediately, kneeling in front of Alec, magic sparking under his skin, ready to do whatever needs to be done.

“He’s fine for the most part,” Jace amends. “The only reason I brought him over was because he kept mumbling about you, high off some mundane painkillers. But the worst part is over. The healing runes are doing their job, right, buddy?” He pats Alec’s cheek, slightly jerking him to consciousness.

Alec nods, making yet another ineligible sound.

“Mundane painkillers?” Magnus asks.

“We were near a drug store when it happened, best course of action and all that. The irtazes took care of the rest when we had the chance to activate them,” Jace explains as he gives Alec a seemingly final once over before standing up to his full height.

“But what happened?”

“Young, naive, shadowhunters trying to prove themselves. Colossal mess. Izzy and I had it handled for the most part but you know, Mr Head Of The Institute had to be informed and then of course, jump into action.”

Magnus frowns, pushing down the energy sizzling in his bloodstream. “Of course.”

Jace affectionally squeezes Alec’s shoulder, the one that’s not bandaged up in bloody gauze. “You’re going to be just fine,” he says, though Magnus can distinctly make out the sparks of worry in him.

“I have to meet up with Clary in about five minutes, you good with taking care of the captain over here?”

Magnus scoffs. “Go. Tell biscuit I said hello.”

“I don’t like that nickname.” Jace pulls a face as he makes his way over to the door.

“And I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”

“Take care of my brother,” he calls out as the shuts door behind him.

Then it’s just Magnus and Alexander again and even though Alec’s fine, even though these things happen, (hell, Magnus sports a fair share of battle scars and misshapen stories himself), he just can’t help but feel so utterly helpless.

Magnus is not one to dwell on the past, things tend to get rather ugly when he does, but there’s always that thought lingering in the back of his mind. _What if?_ A second too late and _what if?_ And of course, _the what then?_

“I’m okay,” Alec mumbles, eyes shut.

“I’m sure you are.”

Alec reaches over with his good hand, finding Magnus’ and clasps it.

“Alexander,” he starts. “You’ve got to stop doing this to me.”

Alec opens his eyes, slightly more conscious now. “Doing what?”

 _This_ , Magnus wants to say. _Look close enough, you’ll see._

But that’s vague and they’re communicating and he wants, no, _needs_ Alec to understand.

“Remember when you told me that you had some doubts going into this because, well, I watch the people I care about age and did?” he quotes in lieu of an answer.

Alec is upright and attentive in an instant. “Magnus, I—“

“You were right to say that, to have the doubts that you did,” he assures. “Trouble is—“

“You’re the one having those doubts now?”

Alec sounds so panicked for a split second that Magnus immediately jumps into the words.

“No, no. Not doubts. More fear, if anything.”

“You’re afraid of losing me,” concludes Alec.

“Petrified, actually,” says Magnus. “You have to understand that you weren’t wrong when you said what you said. It’s true. A bitter reality but a reality nonetheless. And what hurts most when time takes what is its is what happens after, how you continue to live your life.” He stares into Alec’s warm hazel eyes, the promise of comfort and safety in them urges him to keep going. “Often times, I’m placed in the role of the sole survivor and that comes with an ache you can’t begin to imagine. For a long time, I refused to let anyone in, put myself at risk of getting hurt like that again but you, Alec Lightwood, you have me terrified.”

A silence falls over the room, folding over the two like a blanket. It stretches on for far more than Magnus would like. And for a second he thinks, what if Alec passed out from the all the action of the day and he’d been talking to empty air for the past few minutes.

“Magnus,” he says after what feels like an eternity. “I can’t say I understand exactly what you went through before, what you’re going through now. But, you know I’m here for you. However long that may last. And you need to know that just as scared you are of losing me, I feel the same way about you. You’re not invincible, Magnus, you have me terrified, too—you’re—you’re just as human as the rest of us.”

“You can’t see the future, neither can I. But this is the present and I love you and I’m going to keep loving you for as long as I can and we can worry about ‘forever’ later. There are no guarantees of safety when it comes to our lives but we’re here anyway and that’s—that’s pretty okay. You were the one to make me realize that, Magnus.”

It takes some time for Magnus to take in all that, to let himself dive into the warm and comforting embrace of the words and the person who’s speaking, to figure out what to say now.

“Alexander Lightwood,” he says finally. “You better stick around a while.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Alec smiles and instinctively leans in to kiss Magnus once he has him close enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
“

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, admittedly not the best it could’ve been but thanks for reading anyway. Let me know what you think!


End file.
